Beer vs. Pu$$y
(submitted by Armando)

It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pu$$y...

A beer is always wet. A pu$$y needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pu$$y tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pu$$y.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pu$$y makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pu$$y does not.
Advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pu$$y, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pu$$y

24 beers come in a box. A pu$$y is a box you can come in. Advantage:
Pu$$y

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage:
Pu$$y.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come
home smelling like pu$$y, she will definitely get mad. Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pu$$ies in a night and
you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pu$$y

Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pu$$y and you will get poor. Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pu$$y in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pu$$y

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pu$$y on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pu$$y

With beer, bigger is better. Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. Advantage: beer.

Pu$$y can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pu$$y

If you think all day about the next pu$$y you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pu$$y

Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pu$$y is more fun. 
Advantage: Pu$$y.

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pu$$y at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pu$$y, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. 
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.

The best pu$$y you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pu$$y.

The worst pu$$y you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill. 
Bad pu$$y: Roseanne, Maggie Thatcher, Oprah Winfrey. Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew. 
Good pu$$y: Almost all but the above. 
Advantage Pu$$y.

The government taxes beer. Advantage: Pu$$y.